Sunday's Family Time

I really am happy today to spend two hours chatting with my family. Well not all of them, just my father and mother since my sister has gone out to bed. We talk about anything from work activities to my never ending status as a single woman. As usual, my father insists on teasing me for not having a boyfriend -- a status that I'm definitely not gonna revoke soon -- and my mother worries that I'll end up as an old virgin. My responds to their complaints will always be 'Dad, it's not my priority right now, worry more about my thesis okay?' and 'Come on Mom, I know that I'm not pretty but I'm sure there's a man out there who loves me for who I really am, I just haven't met him yet. Relax.'. I suppose it has something to do with the fact that I live far from their reach, and my sister has her mind sets on continuing her study in Singapore. They're afraid to be alone.

Yet I'm glad to know that my father now spends some of his time running an orphanage with his friends. Mom said that he becomes warmer and even starts to do a night prayer almost every day. It's a nice change since in the past he was so temperamental, cold-hearted (yet we still love him) and always complained whenever my mother prays too long. Guess it's true that personality will change over time. Mom still sticks to her usual routine of prayers but she also said that she now fasts the fast of Prophet Dawud in order to ease our life, and especially, my life. Sister starts doing night prayer too, what's with a big exam coming up, and she, according Mom, also prays for my best. I feel like I want to cry knowing that they do much for my sake yet they also serve as a slap on my face.

Why? Because to be honest, until now, it's very hard to me to perform prayers five times a day. I tried, and try but they just kinda slipped out from my routine. I know that it's wrong because they're so mandatory and act as the basic fundamental of Islam, but I don't know, something always prevents me to do that. I feel so ashamed since my sister who is six years younger than me can perform it easily even she can spend some of her time to do the sunna prayers. The guilt has been haunting me for years and so, I decide to make a blog post about my hypocrisy to serve as a reminder of the sins I've been committed and a promise to ease the sins by starting to pray more and more (and I don't want the efforts my family make to be wasted just because I'm not doing the prayers). It'll be a pleasure to me if you who reads this post and conveniently happens to be around me at a time can ask me whether I've been doing the pray or not. Don't worry, I won't bite.

Anyway I have a business plan in mind that's bound to be realized in three years if everything falls according to my schedule. I'm not sure that I'll get money out of it though since the core idea is crazy, so crazy that I don't think people will support it at first. And it'll take a whole damn lot of money! Guess I have to start saving some of my intern payout from now on... *says goodbye to new shoes, bags and clothes*