Kamis, 30 Juni 2011

Day 178: On the page

Day 178: Finished writing the webseries pilot, woo-hoo!!! It's a dramedy tentatively titled "Now or Never." Had to trim it down just like I thought I would in order to stay within the 10 page requirements but I'm happy with the results. I sent it to a small handful of friends to get their feedback before I submit it. Gonna keep my fingers crossed that I make it to the next round and if not then I'll look for screenplay contests to submit it to or one day {long after DWP is done} I'll produce it on my own.

IDE status konyol Fb

Tags
Status lucu Fb | Kalimat lucu Fb | Status konyol Fb | Status gokil Fb - Berikut ini kita bagikan secara gratis berbagai Kalimat lucu Fb yang sekiranya bisa dijadikan sebagai status konyol Fb untuk para facebooker semua.

-Lebih baik diam dan keliatan bego daripada ngomong dan begonya keluar

- Kenapa Indonesia hanya memilih 3 calon untuk jadi presiden tapi harus 50 calon untuk jadi Miss Indonesia?

-Saya berhasil menyelesaikan puzzle hanya dalam waktu 6 bulan! Padahal di kotak tertulis untuk 5 - 8 tahun!!!!

-Kalau kalian meminjamkan uang Rp 150.000,- kepada seseorang dan cuma karena duit segitu dia ngilang, well..saya rasa harga segitu gak kemahalan deh...

-Di saat kau senang tak ada yang tau senyummu, di saat kau sedih tak ada yang menyadari air matamu, baru di saat kau kentut semua melihat ke arahmu...MENYEDIHKAN SEKALI

- Sumeng : "No,tadi cewe yang tokednya gede banget kok bisa negor lo? Dia ngomong apa ama lo?" Tarno : - "Iya ya...dia ngomong apa ama gua ya? gua lupa"

-Kata orang wajah ganteng saya asalnya dari papa........papa saya dokter operasi plastik

-Lebih baik telat daripada telat banget

-Bapak : "Bu...kita coba bercinta seperti waktu dulu yuk" Ibu : "Boleh, 250.000 plus tip ya"

- CINTA (LOVE) : keadaan dimana setelah orgasme, Anda menatap pasangan Anda dan tetap menyukainya serta tidak ingin mengusirnya jauh-jauh

- Ada tips menarik untuk wanita-wanita modern masa kini yang harus memiliki mobilitas tinggi . Ada cara cepat untuk menyamarkan rambut kalian yang sedang jelek atau berantakan bila kalian harus bertemu muka dengan seseorang yang penting. Yaitu, cukup dengan memamerkan belahan dadamu saja.

-"Sedari tadi apa sih, yang kau pelototi?" "Akte Nikah" "Apa yang kau cari?" "Kapan masa berlakunya berakhir?"

- Suatu hari, di restoran tiongkok, seorang pria bertanya kepada pelayan." Babi ada?" ada pak...."anjing ada?" ada pak "ular ada?" ada pak..."monyet ada?" ada pak..."Suruh keluar semua, saya mau makan"

-A :Kamu sudah putus sama si Yanti ya? B :Iya nih, dia memutuskan hubungan kami. A :Mestinya kamu cerita soal bapakmu yang kaya raya B :Memang aku cerita. Sekarang Yanti jadi Ibuku yg baru

Status gokil Fb lainnya seperti di bawah ini,dan kita bisa menjadikan nya sebagai insprirasi dengan sedikit inovasi yng bisa kalian lakukan untuk meromabk status konyol fb anda dijadikan bahan bulan-bulanan komentar hehehe.

-Melihat pemakaian air yang tidak perlu dan berlebihan secara terus menerus dari tahun ke tahun, diperkirakan pada tahun 2019 negara kita akan mengalami krisis air yang hebat. Untuk itu marilah kita mengambil gerakan menghemat air dengan cara selalu mandi berdua di bawah shower dengan kekasih kita.

-"Tampang berondong, dompet Om-om"

- Bisa gak ya nanam pohon ganja di farmville terus jual ke mafia wars?

-Abis nonton film animasi tengah malam SPONGE DONG

-Hidup seperti mario bros,musti bantai banyak naga buat dapetin tuan putri

-Apa perbedaan masalah dan bakat? 2 cowok mencintai 1 cewek = masalah, 2 cewek mencintai 1 cowok = bakat

-Sejelek-jeleknya seorang cowok, tetap saja ia mencari wanita yang tercantik

-Tips paling penting dalam percintaan, biar tidak ditolak terus sama cewe2 dan enteng jodoh : MUKALU JANGAN JELEK

-Cowo mungkin suka main gila sepanjang hari, tapi pada akhirnya, ia hanya akan memikirkan wanita yang paling disayanginya sebelum tidur

-The world much easier when apple and blackberry were still a fruit

-Saat sedang tidur pulas berdua,tiba2 si cewe mengigau... cewe: Say!! Bangun Say... Suamiku sudah pulang!!! si cowo dengan sigap langsung lompat keluar jendela. Begitu jatuh ia baru sadar : Sial!!! kan gue suaminya...!!

-Ingin ku memelukmu dengan hangat saat ini juga, membelai dengan lembut wajahmu, menggenggam erat tanganmu, mengecup keningmu, menyentuhkan bibirku ditelingamu sambil berbisik, inalilahi wainalilahi rojiun

- Keluhan ibu rumah tangga : pagi nyuci kain, siang angkat kain, sore jemur kain, malem gak pake kain

-Wanita itu rumit sekali, ditanya ya atau tidak, jawabnya : diam. Ditanya tidak atau ya, jawabnya : diam. Ditanya ya atau ya, jawabnya : diam. Ditanya tidak atau tidak, jawabnya : diam. Ketika didiamkan malah marah....Itulah WANITA, makin kita bingung makin senang dia...

- emansipasi adalah wanita berdiri sama tegak dengan lelaki, tetapi menurut saya, apabila wanita bisa mendirikan lelaki sampai tegak berarti dia sudah cukup beremansipasi

- Suatu saat di pintu surga,Pemuka agama :Mengapa saya tidak bisa masuk surga sedangkan supir angkot itu bisa? Penjaga Pintu surga : karena waktu Anda berceramah, tidak ada yang mendengarkan anda dan tidur sehingga tak ada yang ingat kepada Tuhan, kalau supir angkot nyetir ugal-ugalan, penumpangnya pada takut sehingga menyebut nama Tuhan.....

-Kalau cinta itu buta, kenapa bikini laku sekali?

-Para cewe di luar sana, jika ada cowo yang mendekatimu, bantulah mereka! Cowo itu tidak sekuat yang kalian bayangkan, tidak selamanya mereka harus memulai duluan, berilah tanda ada sedikit ketertarikan dari kalian dan jangan merasa tidak enak untuk menolak...pria dirancang untuk ditolak dan hidup dengan penolakan...untuk itu mereka harus kuat atau selamanya single

-Drakula bertanya kepada Tuhan: “Tuhan, bolehkah aku menjadi malaikat kecil bersayap tetapi tetap menghisap darah? Jawab Tuhan : ”Baiklah, Kuubah kau menjadi SOFTEX...

-Kalau "punya" lelaki itu namanya "setan" dan "punya" wanita surga, kenapa setan suka keluar masuk surga?

-Hal TERBAIK dan TERBURUK apa yang bisa terjadi padamu BERSAMAAN? yaitu ketika pacarmu mengatakan “ WOW! Kamu benar2 PENCIUM ULUNG dibandingkan teman-temanmu

-Waktu lahir, Tuhan memberikan aku 2 pilihan ; ingatan yang bagus atau wajah yang tampan, aku sudah lupa pilih yang mana....


-“who said english is easy?” please fill this blank either with “YES” or “NO” “______, i am a pig.”


-Kenapa yang comment buat yang cantik2 selalu rame di fb, walau isi posting cuma "aku lagi makan mie..." , sedangkan kalo yang jelek2 walau udah posting parah kayak "I'm terorist and i will blow your country" gak ada yang peduli?


- Kalo nikah kita "TEKEN" - kalo kimpoi kita "NEKEN


-Cowo-cowo itu memang banyak maunya, bagi mereka cewe jelek dikasih baju sebagus apapun tetep jelek tapi kalo cewek cantik aja, gak usah pake baju juga sudah bagus


-Seks adalah harga yang wanita bayar untuk pernikahan,sedangkan pernikahan adalah harga yang harus pria bayar untuk seks

Status lucu Fb | Kalimat lucu Fb | Status konyol Fb | Status gokil Fb ini masih kurang lengkap menurut kamu? hayo kita tambah lagi dengan beberapa status lucu Fb yang di kumpulkan dari berbagai wall para facebooker mania.


-Jika para cewe berkumpul, mereka akan makan-makan dan minum-minum selama 30 menit lalu menghabiskan waktu ngobrol sampe pagi, jika para cowo yg berkumpul, mereka akan ngobrol selama 30 menit lalu menghabiskan waktu makan-makan dan minum-minum sampai pagi


-Orang sukses adalah orang yang dapat menghasilkan uang lebih banyak daripada yang istrinya habiskan


-Tahun pertama pernikahan, pria berbicara wanita yang mendengar, tahun kedua pernikahan, wanita berbicara pria yang mendengar, tahun ketiga pernikahan, dua-dua nya berbicara tetangga yang mendengar

- Cara membuat cewe bahagia (untuk cowo) : peluk dia, cium dia, belai dia, rayu dia, perhatiin dia, beliin kado.............Cara membuat cowo bahagia (untuk cewe) : cukup lepaskan semua bajumu saja


-Anda Penjaga kuburan? Cobalah iklan berikut ini : SUSAH BERNAFAS? HUBUNGI KAMI KAMI MELAYANI: -PETI MATI -TERSEDIA PAKET PLUSPLUS *KARANGAN BUNGA *DAN KOSTUM KIRIM REG MAKAM KIRIM KE: KUBURAN "ANDA TEWAS, KAMI PUAS"


-Money Is Not Everything, But No Money Everything is Nothing


-Seks di luar pernikahan itu bagaikan kentut, kalo ditahan bakal sakit perut, tapi kalo di lepas malu menjemput!!


-Tiga Wanita di interogasi di pintu surga. Wanita 1 : Saya menjaga kesucian saya sampai saat ini. Malaikat : Kasih dia kunci surga. Wanita 2 : Saya menjaga kesucian saya sampai saya menikah. Malaikat : Kasih dia kunci surga. Wanita 3 : Saya sudah menjual kesucian saya sewaktu SMU, sekarang saya adalah wanita penghibur high class. Malaikat : Kasih dia kunci kamar saya


-sop buntut itu gak enak buntutnya karena musti bayar

-Teori logis kenapa wanita lebih memilih kecantikan daripada kepintaran : karena jumlah cowo bodoh lebih banyak dari cowo buta

-Andai Adam dan Hawa orang Tionghoa, mungkin mereka tidak akan diusir dari surga, karena kemungkinan besar apelnya dijual dan ularnya dijadiin sop

-Cara terbaik untuk mengingat ulang tahun pacar atau istri kita adalah dengan melupakannya sekaliii saja

-Sarjana - "jebolan mana?" cewe hamil - "jebolan siapa?"

-Heh! kamu! Jangan deket2 tong sampah! Saya gak bisa membedakan mana yang sampah mana yang bukan!

-Tali beha itu lucu ya?? kalo ditutup bisa mengencangkan 2 buah benda, tapi kalo dibuka bisa mengencangkan satu benda

- Pelanggan Yth. Masa aktif hidup anda akan segera habis, saldo dosa anda sudah melewati batas. Segera isi ulang iman anda di rumah ibadah terdekat sebelum nyawa anda di blokir.

-Seorang kanibal dan anaknya sedang pergi berburu manusia akhirnya menemukan seorang wanita cantik, sexy, memakai tank top yang kelihatan udel dan belahan dadanya. Jadi..... Anak :Ayah, ayo kita bawa dia pulang untuk dijadikan makan malam! Ayah : Saya mempunyai ide yang lebih baik, nak..ayo dia kita bawa pulang dia dan kita makan ibumu

Seorang istri berkata kepada suaminya: "Jon, kamu sebaiknya membantu anakmu mengerjakan pekerjaan rumahnya sekarang, mumpung kamu masih mampu mengajarinya. Tahun depan sudah susah loh, dia sudah akan ada di kelas 4 SD, aku yakin kamu tidak akan mampu mengajarinya lagi nanti."

- Istri : Sayang..make up ini buat aku keliatan jelek ga??? Suami : Nggak....mukamu itu yang membuatmu jelek

-Cowo: Kamu ingin bermain sulap? Cewe: Sulap itu apa sih? Cowo : Sulap itu adalah kita ke nite club, kita ngobrol,kita minum,kita make love lalu saya ngilang

-Happy Wife...Happy Life...

-Kau akan kehilangan uang kalau kau mengejar wanita, tetapi kau tidak akan kehilangan wanita kalau mengejar uang

-sekuat apapun cowo.... setegar apapun seorang cewe... sewaktu saat pasti akan meneteskan air mata..... karena satu masalah yaitu.... kelilipan....

-Istri senantiasa ingin diingat hari ulangtahunnya tanpa diingat umurnya, tetapi para suami selalu ingat umur istrinya tanpa pernah ingat hari ulang tahunnya

-ada 3 sahabat bernama: Tole, Mira dan Konan. suatu hari tole lagi manjat pohon , konan lagi mancing , n mira lagi baca buku.... tiba2 tole jatuh dari pohon , si mira langsung teriak: KON...TOLE JATUH!!!!

- Katanya Tuhan menciptakan Hawa untuk menemani Adam, tapi kenapa sekarang Adam juga bisa berpasangan dengan Adam?

-Udin yang sudah 2 hari tidak pulang dari warnet, memutuskan untuk pulang juga. Tepat di pintu keluar ia mendorong pintu tersebut sekuat tenaga, anehnya pintu tidak bergeming sedikitpun. Setelah mendorong berkali-kali dengan sekuat tenaga, akhirnya ia kecapean lalu marah-marah sama operator warnet.."WARNET GEMBEL BANGET!!! PINTU RUSAK GAK DIBENERIN!!" si operator emosi,"Itu tulisannya TARIK bego"


-Seorang cowo mendonorkan darahnya kepada pacarnya yang terkena musibah kecelakaan. Ketika hubungan mereka putus, cowo yang koret itu kemudian meminta darahnya kembal. Pacarnya yang sebel malah melempar pembalut ke muka si cowo dan berkata, "Nih! Gue cicil per bulan!!


-Satu satu cakepnya wajahmu, dua dua, anggun juga kaya, tiga-tiga banyak penggemarnya, satu dua tiga fitnah semuanya.....


-Ada seorang petinggi agama yg mpunyai kebiasaan buruk mengumpat kata “Ngehek" setiap kali bola golf yang dipukulnya tdk masuk ke dalam lobang. Merasa berdosa, si petinggi agama bersumpah akan tersambar petir bila ia mengumpat lagi. Namun, pada pukulan berikutnya ia gagal lagi dan spontan berteriak "NGEHEK!!"....tidak lama terdengar sambaran petir..namun si petinggi agama tidak apa2...lalu terdengarlah suara dari langit.."NGEHEK"

-Pacar dan istri itu ibarat alat musik yang dapat mengeluarkan suara-suara merdu yang menenangkan hati selama kita tidak memainkan alat musik yang lainnya.

-Aku tidak takut dipelototi oleh cowo botak, brewokan, tinggi gede, sangar,tatoan....aku lebih takut dikedipin dan didadahin genit oleh dia


-Istri : Dulu banyak cowok yang datang melamarku, tapi aku tolak semua kecuali kamu. Suami : Sama, dulu banyak cewek yang aku lamar, tapi semua nolak kecuali kamu.

-Cinta itu seperti makan di restoran mewah,kita pasti akan puas dengan segala servis dan hidangan yang disediakan. Namun pada akhirnya kita juga tetap harus membayar semua itu dengan jumlah yang dapat membuat kantong bolong

- Ternyata sumber mata air mineral dan ASI itu sama, yaitu dari pegunungan

-Perbedaan definisi panik,stress dan depresi adalah kalau istri hamil itu panik , kalau selingkuhan hamil itu stress......nah, kalau depresi itu adalah jika dua-duanya hamil

Trend bikin status Fb saat ini adalah saat ini adalah Status lucu Fb | Kalimat lucu Fb | Status konyol Fb | Status gokil Fb yang bisa menjadikan para kerabat dan teman teman anda menjadi terhibur dan tidak melulu membahas permasalahan cinta yang bagi sebagian jombloers terasa najis abis. Status lucu Fb berikut ini masih dilanjutkan dengan berbagai kumpulan status konyol Fb dan kumpulan status gokil Fb yang kita rangkumdari berbagai sumber.

-Keboku ada 5….. rupa2 warnanya…. hijau, kuning kelabu… merahmuda dan biru…. keboku hilang empat… door… hatiku sangat kacau… keboku tinggal satu.. mukanya kayak kamu....

-Istri yang sempurna harus : 1. Cantik 2.Setia 3.Jujur 4.Pengertian 5.Tidak saling mengenal satu sama lain

-Sekurus dan secantik apapun, wanita selalu merasa dirinya gemuk dan jelek, tetapi sebotak dan segendut apapun pria tetap merasa dirinya kereeenn...

-Waktu aku mau pergi, kau jemput aku dengan AUDI TT COUPE mu. Waktu aku aku mau nelpon, kamu belikan BLACKBERRY ONYXX. Waktu aku mau belanja, kau gesekkan AMEX PLATINUM mu. Waktu aku hamil, kamu dimanaaa...???

-Anak : Bu, apakah benar surga di bawah telapak kaki ibu? Ibu : Mungkin benar nak, sebab di bawah pusar ibu adalah surga bapakmu

-Hal yang paling sulit dilakukan adalah berusaha untuk tidur dan berusaha untuk tidak tidur

-Pria : Tuhan,kenapa kau menciptakan wanita begitu cantik? Tuhan : Supaya kamu mencintai mereka Pria :Lalu, Tuhan, kenapa kau menciptakan mereka bego? Tuhan : Supaya mereka mencintai kamu

-Sepasang manusia sedang beristirahat setelah melakukan percintaan yang panas. Dalam peluknya, si cewek membelai-belai "punya" si cowok. Si cowok tersenyum dan bertanya "besar ya?" Si cewek membalas senyum cowok dan berkata " Nggak, cuma nostalgia saja,dulu saya juga punya

-sorry Newton, saya baru menyadari kalau teori gravitasi Anda itu salah ... sebab saya bisa kok terbang..... dengan gandja

- Wanita membutuhkan alasan untuk bercinta...kalau pria hanya membutuhkan tempat

- kunci dari kesuksesan adalah : tau siapa yang musti disalahin bila kita lagi salah

-Saya tidak percaya sama mahluk yang bisa berdarah selama 5 hari tapi gak bisa mati

-Kata siapa hidup itu bagaikan roda ? Hidup itu seperti hubungan suami istri...kadang di atas, kadang di bawah

-Seseorang yang bisa-bisanya nyengir waktu keadaan lagi krisis berarti dia sudah tau siapa yang musti dia salahin

- Seorang cewe memakai baju bertulisan "GUESS" tepat di atas buah dadanya yang besar. Yaudah, langsung saja saya jawab, ”operasi ya?"

-Anda berusaha sekuat tenaga di 2 tahun pertama mengajari buah hati Anda jalan dan berbicara, namun akhirnya menghabiskan 16 tahun berikutnya menyuruh mereka duduk dan diam

-If God made everything...He must be from China

-Semakin banyak yang Anda sampaikan, semakin sedikit yang mereka ingat

-Kulihat kau disana, cantik dan menawan. Kulempar senyum manis, tak kau gubris. Kulambaikan tangan, kaubuang muka. Kuberanikan menyapa, malah ditinggal, Akhirnya kuperlihatkan AUDI TT COUPE ku diparkiran baru kau tersenyum manja, dasar cewek jaman sekarang


-Hari pertama, di kampungku, seorang wanita hilang, seisi kampung mencarinya, karena dingin kami menjadi horny, lalu wanita itu kami gilir. Hari kedua, seekor kambing hilang, seisi kampung mencarinya, karena dingin kami menjadi horny, lalu kambing itu kami gilir. Hari ketiga, saya yang hilang....

-Seorang pria sedang berjalan2 di mall, ketika sampai di sebuah toko buku, ia mendapati seorang wanita cantik semampai yang sedang membaca "Chicken Soup for soul"....jiwa bohaynya mendorong ia untuk berkenalan dan berkata : "Hobi masak ya cantik?"


-Berikut ini kisah tentang ribetnya diary istri dan simple nya diary suami!
Diary istri: oh tuhan apakah salahku, mengapa suamiku hari ini berbeda dari biasanya,Setiap pagi sblum berangkat kerja biasanya dia menciumku, ttpi mengapa tadi pagi tdk?, trus plang kerja sudah kumasakin makanan kesukaannya tapi dia langsung masuk kamar tanpa makan, trus sewaktu kuajak intim dia tdk mau, malah tdur membelakangiku,, tdk biasanya dia sprti ini, apakah dia selingkuh?
Diary suami: hari ini REAL MADRID kalah, SIAL!!


-cinta IBU : sepanjang masa.. sepanjang umur..sepanjang hayat..
cinta seorang pacar : sepanjang nafsu


Apa pun yang serba telat dari suami pasti kena omelan istri, tapi hanya satu yang dijamin membuat semua istri bahagia, yaitu...."keluar" nya lamaaaaaa


-Gua suka nggak tega ngeliat ada cewek berdiri kalau lagi naik bus, apalagi pas gua dapet duduk..."
Cewek : (kagum) "Terus, apa yang Mas lakukan?"
Cowok : "Gua langsung pura-pura tidur..."


-Anak : Papa,idiot itu apa sih?
Papa : Idiot adalah keadaan dimana seseorang menjelaskan suatu kata sederhana kepada orang lain secara panjang lebar dan berlebihan sehingga mengakibatkan orang yang menanyakan tidak paham ataupun mengerti sama sekali, paham?
anak : tidak....


-Laki-laki baik dan wanita Cantik itu Ibaratnya / seperti Tempat Parkir.
Tempat Parkir itu biasanya sudah penuh semua, tinggal yang kosong khusus untuk orang jelek


-Petuah bijak seorang bisnisman...
"Kamu harus bijaksana dalam memberi, Anakku..."
"Dan apakah bijaksana itu wahai ayah?"
"Jangan pernah memberi"


-Pasien: "Dokter, setiap kali saya bercermin, tiba-tiba saya terserang mual-mual dan kepengen muntah!"
Dokter: "Hmm...berarti mata anda masih sehat."


- Film Twilight itu seperti permainan sepakbola, durasinya 2 jam, gak ada yang nyetak gol tapi fans nya jutaan orang dan kamu gak tau kenapa...

- Hidup itu pendek seperti Tom Cruise

-Kalo dipikir2 lucu juga ya kamu bisa bangun cepet banget disaat kamu sadar bahwa kamu sudah telat untuk bangun


-Kiamat sudah dekat...tsunami, gempa bumi, tanah longsor, gunung meledak, justin bieber....

-Saya sedang main poker taruhan yang kalah telanjang dengan nenek dan kakek saya

-Hal yang paling saya tidak suka bila ada yang menertawakan kemalangan orang lain adalah : orang2 yang tidak tertawa

-Ada keripik kentang Chitato keluaran terbaru untuk menyaingi rasa rumput
laut LAYS yang laku keras itu : Chitato rasa rumput tetangga

-Tuhan selalu menjagamu dan mengawasimu....oleh karena itu, jangan masturbasi

-Tujuannya nyamuk diciptakan oleh Tuhan adalah agar kita bisa menggampar diri kita sendiri

-Ada keluaran terbaru dan tercanggih dari Apple khusus untuk orang-orang yang menderita seperti teman-teman sekalian...nama produknya adalah : iJelek

-Seorang lelaki menyindir suami baru istrinya : bro, gimana rasanya "barang bekas" gue? si suami baru pun membalas : lumayanlah, baru gue masukin 2 centi rasanya kok kayak barang baru ya?

-Roses are red Violets are blue Friend Requests are great But who the fuck are you?

-Kalau ada yang salah selalu aja gue yang disalahin. Kalau terus-terusan begini, kayaknya gue cocok jadi presiden deh

-Kok orang2 bisa tau makanan anjing itu enak apa nggak?

-Dongeng tersingkat di dunia : Dahulu kala, ada Laki-laki melamar Peremmpuan, dan dijawab “TIDAK”, setelah itu Laki-laki hidup bahagia selama-lamanya

-Arti sebenarnya dari orang yang bilang “saya gak ada facebook dan gak maen kaskus" adalah : “saya gaptek"

-Tips : Kalo kamu mau izin gak masuk kerja hari ini, pastikan teman kerja kamu bukan teman facebook kamu yang bisa liat foto tag kamu waktu lagi mabok kemaren malem

-Kalo kamu lagi single yang kamu liat pasangan berbahagia. Kalo kamu sudah berpasangan, yang kamu lihat pria single bahagia

-Buah strawberry buah duku..gue punya lima jari, yang tengah buat lu

-Senyum adalah hal paling oke nomor 2 yang dapat dilakukan oleh mulut dan bibir kita

-Kalo hidup itu adil, kenapa mukelu jelek?

-Suatu hari terjadi tabrakan maut di tikungan jalan di Biak. Banyak orang berkumpul mengelilingi tempat kejadian. Seorang laki-laki pendek (mirip Zakheus) ingin sekali mengetahui apa yang terjadi, namun sulit menerobos massa yang berkumpul. Ternyata laki-laki pendek ini panjang akalnya. Dengan suara lantang ia berteriak, "Minggir, minggir, aku
saudara laki-laki korban."
Semua yang berkerumun memberi jalan kepadanya. Setelah sampai di depan, ternyata yang ditabrak dan menjadi tontonan adalah seekor
anjing berkudis.

-(Nama teman Anda) “in relationship” dengan sabun dan tangan kanannya

Dari berbagai wall para pengguna jejaring sosial facebook akirnya kita bisa mendapatkan berbagai inspirasi untuk Status lucu Fb | Kalimat lucu Fb | Status konyol Fb | Status gokil Fb yang menjadikan gelak tawa karena kenajisan pembuatnya. Kalimat lucu Fb sering sekali digunakan oleh para anak muda untuk menarik lawan jenisnya di berbagai komentar ataupun pemunculan status di facebook.

-Perkataan wanita kebanyakan adalah perkataan yang terlalu mengada-ada, misalnya..."lagi bete nih" atau "kepalaku sakit" atau "semua orang jahat padaku...."
TAPI bila mereka sudah mengatakan , “sekali lagi kamu selingkuh, kubunuh kau!!!” saya rasa mereka sama sekali tidak mengada-ada.


-Kalo orang2 normal saling ngatain sesamanya dengan sebutan “MAHO”, para MAHO ngatain sesamanya dengan sebutan apa ya?


-Mulai dari saat ini perlakukan anak2 kalian dengan baik, daripada musti cebok sendiri dengan susah payah di saat kalian sudah uzur


-Beberapa orang nginjak kaki kamu tanpa sengaja, mereka langsung meminta maaf, tetapi beberapa lagi nginjak hati kamu dengan sengaja mereka bahkan tidak peduli sama sekali


-Kalo kita gak boleh makan lagi di atas jam 12 malem, kenapa kulkas ada lampunya?


-Kesempatan tidak akan dapat diulang lagi dan lagi dan lagi, karena hidup bukanlah permainan Nintendo


-Kalau ada lalat mendarat di monitor komputer kamu, hal pertama yang kamu lakukan pasti adalah menggerak-gerakkan cursor (anak panah) kamu untuk mengusir lalat itu


-Kita semua pasti pernah mengalami amnesia dan dejavu bersamaan , yaitu di saat kita berpikir . “kayaknya gue udah pernah lupain masalah ini deh...”


-Perempuan tidak pernah ’salah’. Dan meminta maaf adalah tugas laki-laki. Hmm.. siapa sebenarnya yang merayu adam memakan buah apel..?


-Pertandingan Indonesia vs Brasil,
Indonesia menang telak 10-0. Karena malu, sang kapten,
Ronaldo, dan wakil kapten, Ronaldinho, menyamar agar tidak dimassa
masyarakat Brasil yang kecewa.
Hari pertama: Ronaldinho menyamar jadi ibu-ibu, lalu dia bertemu
dengan seorang nenek yang dirasa sangat jelek,bertanya kepadanya, "Kamu Ronaldinho, kan?"
Dengan sekejap Ronaldinho pun lari terbirit-birit.
Hari kedua: Ronaldinho menyamar jadi ibu-ibu, lalu dia bertemu
dengan nenek itu lagi, dan bertanya lagi: "Kamu Ronaldinho, kan?"
Ronaldinho lari lagi.
Pada hari ketiga: Ronaldinho dengan penuh percaya diri dia menyamar
jadi nenek-nenek juga, dan dia kembali bertemu lagi dengan nenek jelek tersebut.
Nenek: Kamu Ronaldinho, kan?
Ronaldinho: (Dengan tampang menyerah) Iya, aku Ronaldinho, kok bisa
tahu, sih? Memangnya kamu siapa ....?
Nenek: Ssst.... Aku Ronaldo...!


-Suatu hari si Anto sedang jalan-jalan bersama anjing kesayangannya
Tiba-tiba di jalan dia bertemu dengan si Ameng, teman lamanya yang sudah lama tidak bertemu
dan spontan Anto menyapa
Anto :"Wah lagi jalan2 sama monyet ya..asyik banget nih ada yang nemenin jalan-jalan"
Ameng :"Kamu ini buta apa oon sih, To..orang aku bawa anjing kok di bilang monyet"
Anto :"Eh...maap-maap, tadi aku lagi nanya ke anjing nya kok"


-pada suatu hari kambing,kerbau dan babi jalan jalan ke sungai dan bertemu dengan buaya
sang kambing menyebrangi sungai dan diterkam oleh sang buaya, begitu juga kerbau sama nasibnya dengan buaya, ketika sang babi menyebrang,dia tidak di makan ooleh buaya. Kambing dan kerbau kesel, mereka lalu protes dari perut buaya : “Buaya! Kenapa babi gak dimakan?”
buaya: "MAAF BROOO SAYA MUSLIM....hehehe"


-Lobang WC saya penuh oleh janji caleg

Hehehe gimana pendapat anda tentang kumpulan Status lucu Fb | Kalimat lucu Fb | Status konyol Fb | Status gokil Fb yang barusan anda baca di atas? masih kurang menurut anda? baiklah,berikut ini eke tampilkan lagi berbagai kalimat lucu Fb terbaru yang bisa dijadikan status lucu Fb di account milik kamu yang merasa memiliki jiwa muda dan penuh kontroversi wkwkwkkk.

-Sex itu seperti humor, ada yang ngerti, ada juga yang nggak....

-Seorang pasien yang hidungnya bengkak, mendatangi seorang dokter.
Dokter: Tawon?
Pasien: Betul ....
Dokter: Hinggap dihidung?
Pasien: Benar....
Dokter: Menyengat?
Pasien: Belum sempat tawon itu menyengat, adikku yang idiot menghajarnya dengan raket badminton


-Seorang anak melapor kepada ayahnya. "Pih..papih...., ada yang ngatain saya MAHO di sekolah, pih....." Papihnya emosi, "Elo TONJOK aja tuh orang, nak!" "Tapi pih, dia ganteng bangetttttttttttttt....."

-Kalau kamu nakal, kamu harus dihukum masuk kamarmu ...kalau kamu mau lebih nakal lagi...masuklah ke kamarku


-Kalau kamu merokok setelah habis bercinta, sepertinya kamu “keluar” terlalu cepat...


-Saya ngebut kalo lagi kebelet e’ek aja


-Kamu mungkin akan melupakan apa yang kau tertawakan, tapi tidak akan dapat melupakan apa yang kamu tangisi


-Sex dapat mengakibatkan hal-hal yang jelek seperti sipilis, raja singa, HIV...tapi yang PALING PARAH adalah : musti bertanggung jawab hamilin anak orang


-Di belakang setiap wanita bajingan pasti ada lelaki yang membuatnya jadi begitu


-Yang bilang uang tidak bisa membeli kebahagiaan berarti tidak mengetahui tempat strategis buat belanja

-Pergerakan harga-harga 5 Bahan Pokok setelah seminggu Piala Dunia TERLIHAT antara lain :
Harga pisang turun naik, Harga telur masih DIBAWAH pisang, Harga susu masih TERGANTUNG, Sementara harga kacang masih diantara Daging dan Harga Daging didekati harga pisang


-Sadar gak sih kalian kalo lumba-lumba itu adalah hiu maho?


-Hidup itu seperti penis...kalau lagi keras, semua orang pasti dient * t


-Terlalu banyak orang yang membeli barang yang tidak mereka butuhkan, dengan uang yang tidak mereka miliki dan untuk menyenangkan orang yang tidak mereka sukai


-Seorang nenek pikun mengadopsi seorang bayi. Besoknya anak si nenek menjenguk. “Nek, saya ingin liat bayinya dong.”
Nenek; “Ooo...boleh, tapi tunggu bayinya nangis dulu ya....” Anak,”Kenapa musti nunggu nangis dulu, nek?” Nenek;”Soalnya saya lupa naroh dimana”


-Kejujuran adalah jalan terbijak, tetapi berteriak seperti kesetanan adalah pertahanan diri terbaik


-Kamu gak akan bisa tau rasanya surga kalo kamu takut “ketinggian”


-Saya menerima suara nasehat dari istri saya. 99% suara, 1% nasehat


-Kalau cinta itu buta, kenapa masih bisa bedain mana yang angkot mana yang ferari?


-Saya dulu susah payah cari muka buat dapetin temen. Kemudian saya tau ternyata uang bisa beli temen. Semenjak itu, temen saya banyak banget


-Tiga hal paling menakutkan di saat kamu bangun setelah habis mabok berat dan pesta semaleman adalah : 1. Muka kamu yang udah ancur 2. Dompet yang sudah gak ada isinya 3. List siapa aja nelpon kamu semalem dan secara gak sadar SUDAH KAMU ANGKAT!!!!


-Sex itu seperti udara....sama sekali gak penting, sampai saatnya udah gak bisa didapetin lag


-(COWO) : Gue mengakui dan gak keberatan dulu elo suka ngatain gue tolol banget. Nah,karena kemarin kita udah putus.....siapa yang tolol sekarang?



-“Karyawan paling Teladan Bulan” ini adalah contoh paling tepat untuk menggambarkan bagaimana seseorang bisa menjadi WINNER sekaligus LOSER di saat yang bersamaan

- why drink and drive when u can smoke and fly

-Maen facebook paling enak nge - “LIKE” - in status sendiri ya?


Cuma ada 3 (TIGA) Tipe orang di dunia : 1. Yang bisa ngitung dan 2. Yang gak bisa ngitung


TUHAN : Saya tidak bisa berada di semua tempat, maka saya menciptakan IBU
SETAN : Saya juga tidak bisa berada di semua tempat, maka saya menciptakan IBU MERTUA


Zaman dulu wanita memasak dan betutur kata seperti ibunya, sekarang mereka mabok dan merokok kayak bapaknya


jangan takut menghadapi godaan, bila kamu bertambah tua dan jelek nanti, justru godaan yang menghindari kamu


Ngapain ya facebook ada fasilitas nge-”LIKE” status sendiri? Udah pastilah gue LIKE status gue sendiri la!! gue kan ganteng!!


Depressed? Overworked? Job suck? Unappreciated? Family problems? Money worries? Well here's the pill just for you. FUKITOL

Gua bingung taun baru kog masih pada pake petasan? Bukannya pemerintah sudah menyediakan tabung gas 3 kg?


Cewe dengan pantat kayak gue gak pantes ngomong sama cowok dengan muka kayak elo


Gan, hati-hati, ternyata nelen sperm tanpa berhubungan badan bisa buat hamil. Pacar ane buktinya!


Ngomong baik tentang diri sendiri dibilang sombong, ngomong jelek tentang diri sendiri semua orang percaya


Jangan pernah berantem tabok-tabokan muka dengan orang jelek. Kalau bonyok kita yang rugi.....

Bagaimana mungkin akhir dunia terjadi pada tahun 2012 kalau saya punya susu yang expirednya tahun 2013 ?


Saya tidak pernah merasa tidur dengan wanita jelek, tetapi yang pasti saya sering mendapati banyak dari mereka di samping saya waktu saya bangun


Jangan pernah sekali-kali melirik cewek cantik selagi anda bersama pacar atau cewek. Sesipit-sipitnya anda,selihai-lihainya lirikan anda atau bahkan memakai kacamata hitam full satu muka, CEWEK PASTI TAU!!


‎90 orang kena flu burung semua orang pake masker.....berjuta2 orang kena AIDS tapi gak ada yang mau pake k0nd0m


Cewe2 memerlukan 5 juta foto untuk mencari 1 foto diri mereka yang terbaik, sedangkan cowo2 cukup mengambil 1 foto, melihat sekilas lalu berkata "ganteng juga gue”


Orang sukses karena dia punya banyak CARA, sedang orang gagal karena dia punya banyak ALASAN


Apakah masih bisa disebut pemerkosaan bila yang diperkosa juga mencapai klimaks?

Pikiran orang-orang benar-benar menjadi sangat terbuka bila kau setuju dengan pendapat mereka


Mengapa wanita susah sekali mencari pria tampan yang baik hati dan bisa mengerti wanita? Sebab pria-pria itu sudah mempunyai cowok


secantik-cantiknya cewek cantik sekalipun, pasti akan jelek kalau tuh cewek sedang boker

Perbedaan huruf NARSIS dan NAJIS itu dikit ya

- Berapa kali saya harus ngomong “permisi” sebelum bermutasi menjadi “ minggir, pler” ?

-Dibutuhkan jiwa yang besar bagi seorang pria untuk menangis, tapi dibutuhkan pria dengan badan yang lebih besar lagi bila mau ngetawain pria yang sedang nangis itu

-Jangan selalu menganggap dirimu seorang pecundang karena sesungguhnya kamu adalah pemenang dari 250 juta sel sperma

-Alkohol tidak menyelesaikan masalah, tapi kalo dipikir-pikir lagi, teh botol juga tidak menyelesaikan masalah

-an apple a day keeps doctor away,a girl a day keeps hand away

-Kadang kala kalau elo pura-pura baek and mau sok jadi temen gue, gue pengen gampar muka lo, tapi gue bingung mau gampar muka yang mana ? soalnya mukalu ada dua

-Balikan lagi sama mantan itu ibarat mandi, nge-lap badan pake anduk, terus pake celana dalem bekas

-Separuh hidup pertama kita dirusak oleh orang tua kita dan separuh kemudian dirusak anak kita

-Kalau kamu memiliki sesuatu yang tidak pernah kamu miliki, kamu harus melakukan sesuatu yang tidak pernah kamu lakukan

-(Nama) is in relationshit with....

-Guru memasak saya orangnya cantik buhay dan berdada besar.Saya sudah belajar memasak dengannya selama setahun dan sampai saat ini saya masih belum bisa masak indomie

-Kalau Anda mau buka restoran/rumah makan lebih baik diberi nama "TERSERAH", dapat dipastikan restoran Anda pasti laris manis.....penyebabnya adalah banyaknya orang yang mau makan di restoran/tempat makan bernama "TERSERAH", contoh: "kamu mau makan dimana, beib?" "TERSERAH, mas...."

-Alkohol gak bikin gendut tapi bisa buat elo ngeliat cewek jelek jadi cakep

-Kenapa ya orang2 kalo abis mesen Double Chesee Burger, Large Fries pasti pesen DIET Coke?

-ORang gila selalu merasa dirinya waras sedangkan orang waras selalu merasa dirinya gila

-Di dunia ini benda paling jujur adalah kaca


-pada zaman dulu, wanita memasak seperti ibunya, tapi sekarang mereka merokok dan berbicara kayak bapaknya!!


-Pinokio pembohong, Robin Hood maling, Putri Salju tinggal sama 7 cowok dan yang paling parah, Tarzan jalan2 setengah telanjang. Cerita2 ini berasal dari orang tua kita, tapi mereka yang banyak komeng kenapa generasi kita rusak.

-Alkohol favorit saya? Apa aja yang bisa membuat pacar saya kelihatan cantik

-Kalo ada yang kirim invite an Mafia Wars lagi, kita perang beneran aja!

-Bila seorang wanita tidak pulang semalam, dia mengaku tidur di rumah teman. Lalu suami menelpon 10 teman baik istrinya tapi tak ada yang tau mengenai hal itu.
Bila seorang pria tidak pulang semalam, dia mengaku tidur di rumah teman. Lalu istri menelpon 10 teman baik suaminya, 8 temannya bilang iya dan 2 lagi bilang suaminya masih ada di tempat mereka.
moral : BERSATU KITA TEGUH, gak ada pilihan lain, men!

-W.I.F.E - Washing. Ironing. Fucking. Etc.

-FAKTA : pertama penis itu berukuran 3 x ibu jari dan kedua, 99 % pria yang membaca langsung melihat ibu jarinya setelah membaca info tadi.

Rabu, 29 Juni 2011

Day 176 - 177: Music, Writing & Tattoos

Day 176: Listened to the score for episode 4 of DWP and sent my notes to the director.

Day 177: Hoped to get a call from my agents that I booked at least 1 of the 2 commercials I was up for, but alas, that call never came. *Sigh.* It would be really REALLY nice to book SOMETHING this year but until then, onto creating content. I started writing the webseries pilot today. Per contest rules, it can be no longer than 10 pages and I have 7 written thus far. Now my only problem is condensing my last 2 scenes so that it fits within 3 pages or less and I have 2 more days to do so.

And in other news I was blessed to win a Twitter/Facebook contest sponsored by Laser Away for free tattoo removal. The contest will give me 6 free sessions valued at $1600 so I'm thrilled! I had my first treatment today and that bi%$h was painful! Much worse than getting the tattoo itself but it was over in less than 10 minutes so I can't complain too much. Unfortunately though, since my tat is big and kind of a solid mass, it will probably take 10 - 12 sessions for it to be gone completely so somewhere down the line I will have to spend some change. It'll be worth it though.

Day 175: DWP Callbacks

Day 175: Held callbacks at CAZT for episodes 6 and 7 of Diary of a Wedding Planner. Oh my god, I've never had this much fun at an audition! Episode 6 is actually my favorite one and the actors we brought in did not disappoint. They brought my words to life better than I imagined and they were all really good at improv so the extra bits they added were like icing on the cake. Plus, some of them got to make out with each other {no, it wasn't required for the audition but it will be for the shoot so it was up to them how they wanted to convey "passion"} so the guys clearly had a great time. 

Selasa, 28 Juni 2011

Happy birthday Stevie!

Tags
My little Stevie is 3 today.

Hi Barney!
Sure I'll sit in the train, as long as you don't turn it on. 
Stevie with big brother Jayden and cousins Ryan & CJ
Cheeeeeeeeeeeese!!!!!!!!
Today he went to Chuck E. Cheese with his auntie & cousins to celebrate his birthday. Him & Jayden will be with them all week having fun swimming, going to the movies, the park and more AND giving mommy & daddy a break. We'll celebrate his birthday with him over the weekend though.

Love you little man!

Day 174: Brainstorm Session

Day 174: Brainstormed ideas for a new webseries pilot. Now I never planned to write another webseries after DWP. I actually want to focus more on shorts and eventually tackle a feature film but I just found out about a screenplay contest that is for webseries pilots only. The pilot has to feature a black female lead (easy enough) and the winner will have it produced with a budget of up to $10,000 so I figured why not toss my hat into the ring?


Senin, 27 Juni 2011

Day 171 - 173: Commercial Callbacks

Day 171: Natural Foods Commercial Callback- Always funny to audition in a room full of people. This one went well. Commercial drop-off at Michael Sanford Casting, it was near my callback so why not?
Documentary Meeting.
Website Wednesday- took care of updates.

Day 172: Lunch with Leshelle, a friend of mine who's just got promoted to PR Director for Tavis Smiley's book division and is moving to New York next month to get started. Congrats girl! 
McDonald's Commercial Audition at Kathy Knowles Casting. Was paired up with a guy who I had really good chemistry with so I fully expected a callback!

Day 173: McDonald's Commercial Callback- this wasn't nearly as smooth as the audition. We were brought in in groups of 5 and one of the girls I had to interact with was a hot mess. I don't know any other way to say it. She was needy and gave so many excuses as to why she didn't bring what they asked for and talked a mile a minute about irrelevant crap to the session runner right before he said action. We were supposed to do some improv and then say our lines and I had to keep feeding her her opening line and it was just... irritating. I'm sure there was something I could've done better too but in the moment I was just thrown off by her weirdness. Of course, in this industry there's no rhyme or reason to any of this so she could easily book this spot and leave me scratching my head wondering what the hell they were looking for in the first place.

Kamis, 23 Juni 2011

Day 170: Follow-Up

Day 170: Called the regional agency that I emailed last week since the agent hadn't opened her email yet. Turns out the address on IMDb Pro isn't one she actively checks anymore so she gave me another one to send it to. She said she was happy that I followed up with her so hopefully she'll be just as happy when she sees my resume and reel.


Rabu, 22 Juni 2011

Does this pose look familiar? Jennifer Aniston does a Princess Diana as she shows off her legs in sheer dress

By Sarah Bull


Does this pose look familiar? Jennifer Aniston emulates Princess Diana in a skirt which turned sheer in the New York sunshine yesterday


It hit 26C in New York yesterday and Jennifer Aniston was clearly feeling the heat.

The 42-year-old actress attempted to keep cool in a white skirt, but appeared to be following in the footsteps of Princess Diana as the sun shone through the skirt and turned it virtually entirely sheer.

A picture of Diana taken in 1980 when she was a kindergarten teacher showed her skirt turning see-through in the bright sunshine.

The original: This picture of the late Princess Diana was taken in 1980 when she worked as a kindergarten assistant


And the same thing happened to an apparently unaware Aniston as she strolled through the streets of Manhattan.

Jennifer teamed the skirt with a grey vest top, pink sandals and a pair of sunglasses, as well as a jumper in case it turned cold.

But Jennifer needn't have worried about her fashion faux pas, as all she displayed was her gym-honed body.

Caught unawares: Jennifer didn't appear to know about her fashion faux pas as she strolled through the streets of Manhattan


The actress is famous for working incredibly hard to maintain her incredible figure, and credits running every day to keeping her in shape.

And the results were certainly clear to see as Jennifer enjoyed the hot weather in New York.

Meanwhile, it has just been announced that former Friends star Jennifer will be honoured with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.


Honour: Jennifer will be given a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame thanks to her movie career, which has included films such as the recent Just Go With It


However, according to the Huffington Post, it was actually Jennifer's movie career, which has included films such as The Good Girl and The Break-Up, that earned her the star, not her TV role as Rachel Green in Friends.

Jennifer can next be seen as 'sexually aggressive dentist' Dr Julia Harris in the upcoming comedy Horrible Bosses, alongside Jason Bateman, Kevin Spacey and Colin Farrell.

Other stars who will be given their own star on the walk of fame this year will include Kate Winslet, Scarlett Johansson and Jennifer Lopez.



source:dailymail

Tr-Ashley Cole: Los Angeles can't wait to say goodbye to bad rubbish as footballer leaves rented home like a 'pig sty'

By Georgina Littlejohn


Boys will be boys: But the mess created by Ashley Cole and his footballer mates outside their rented home in LA has angered their neighbours


Just over a week ago he was snapped being the dutiful tenant as he took out the rubbish.

But it would seem that Ashley Cole has more than outstayed his welcome as far as the neighbours are concerned anyway.

The Chelsea star has reportedly angered his local community for turning the affluent Beverly Hills street into a 'pig sty'.


The footballer has ordered so much takeaway food for him and his friends that the bins outside his £18,500 a week rented mansion are overflowing.

Of course, it doesn't say much for the rubbish collectors in the district, who haven't been keeping on top of collecting the trash.

But it could also be that Cole and his friends have just ordered so much food that there are just not enough bins for all their rubbish.

Doing his bit: Ashley was snapped taking out the trash last week...

... but there wasn't enough bins for the amount of rubbish he and his friends were throwing away


The wheely bins ate overflowing with dirty paper plates, empty popcorn bags and torn and screwed up McDonalds bags.

Whatever the reason, the neighbours are said to be furious and one, who asked not to be name, said: 'It's awful, it stinks.

'It's like they've turned this nice, quiet, clean and respected street into a pig sty. It's utterly disgusting.'

Adding to the waste: Ashley has been snapped a couple of times bringing takeaway food back to the house


Ashley, 30, has been in Los Angeles for two weeks and has been staying at the mansion on a lads' holiday.

Fellow footballers Manchester City stars Shaun Wright Phillips and Wayne Bridge and Bolton Wanderers defender Zat Knight.

They have been staying at the six-bedroom mansion in the Hollywood Hills, which is reported to be worth $7million.

More doggies bags to come? Ashley and Shaun Wright Phillips headed out to the Cheesecake Factory in Beverly Hills


It sprawls across 10,000 square feet and all bedrooms are en suite.

It also boasts a swimming pool, a spacious dining room and kitchen and a home cinema.

Ashley jetted out to LA after reportedly spending the night with ex-wife Cheryl Cole, as she kept a low profile following her humiliating sacking from the X Factor USA.

Bachelor pad: This is the £18,500 dollars a month LA mansion that Ashley and his friends have been staying in

Spacious: The back garden boasts sun loungers, an area to relax and a swimming pool


But although reports have said that Cheryl's family, especially her mother Joan, are begging her not to get back with him, Ashley is said to be confident that he and the Girls Aloud star will reconcile.

According to one report today, he is so convinced that he is buying her a chihuahua for her 28th birthday next Thursday.

They are a favourite breed of Cheryl's who already owns two of the minature dogs, Coco and Buster.

Downtime: The spacious living room where Ashley and the lads have been hanging out

Hanging out: Ashley posed for a picture with Wright Phillips and a friend in the mansion's kitchen


Ashley is believed to have contacted a breeder to inquire about a six-week-old puppy and also said to be planning a holiday for the two of them.

A family friend told the Sun: 'He now knows he's well in and has called a breeder.

'He also wants Cheryl to go away with him in total privacy so he can convince her they've a future as a couple. He expects her to agree.'


Romantic mission: Ashley wants to win back ex-wife Cheryl Cole and is believed to be buying her a new chihuahua and taking her away on a private holiday


source:dailymail

RIP 'planking': Internet craze officially dead after Gordon Ramsay tries his hand at the latest online fad

By DAILY MAIL REPORTER



What a plank: Gordon Ramsay posted up a picture on his Twitter of himself trying out the latest internet craze of planking


Along with Rick Rolling, LOLCats and recreating classic album covers, it was fun while it lasted.

But the death knell has officially been sounded for the latest online fashion for 'planking' after celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay, 44, posted up photos of himself playing out the prank.

He posted up a picture of himself on Twitter trying his hand at the latest cyberspace craze on the back of a boat as he headed out from Newport Beach, California, for a spot of Father's Day fishing in the Pacific.


Navy lark: The celebrity chef was stirring up trouble onboard as he joked around and pretended to throw a pal overboard


It wasn't the only larking around the father-of-four did either in true 'embarrassing dad' fashion.

At one point, he pretended to try and throw a friend overboard, and he came back completely sunburnt.

He wrote: 'Catch of the day ! Lobster three ways !!! Face, Neck, Ears , burning like hell I used. X Factor 50 !'


All at sea: Despite slapping on the Factor 50, Gordon's skin was nicely roasted when he arrived back from his Father's Day fishing trip


Reel-y good time: The sweary chef had gone for a day's deep sea fishing in the Pacific


Perhaps he should stick to what he is undeniably amazing at - cooking.

For the uninitiated, planking sees people lying stretched out flat in the most unlikely of public places, then sharing their poses on social media sites like Twitter, Flickr and Facebook.

Aficionados - generally youngsters - are required to lie expressionless with a straight body, hands by their sides with toes pointing into the ground.

The phenomenon caused alarm last month when an Australian practitioner was killed trying it on a balcony in Brisbane, but falling to his death instead.


Pondering the deep: What is Gordon contemplating for his next online-inspired shenanigans? Posting up a video of himself singing Rick Astley's never Gonna Give You Up?


Setting sail: The Michelin-starred gourmand was joined by friends for his skin-frying voyage to catch supper


The victim, a man in his 20s, fell while a friend photographed him, according to police.

However, the fact that craggy-faced chef Ramsay thinks the practice is now cool is more likely to put youngsters off trying it than anything.

According to the BBC, two groups claim to have invented the prank, either in Somerset in 2000 as the 'lying down game' which went online in 2007, or in South Australia the year after where it became known as planking.

Both groups have rival Facebook sites boasting more than 100,000 fans - but maybe a few less after people see the swearing celebrity chef at it....

Planking on a plane! Ramsay planking on the engine of a Gulfstream G4 jet


source : dailymail

Raw grief of Jackass star's best friend: Heartbreaking video shows inconsolable Bam Margera as he visits spot where Ryan Dunn died in fiery crash

By DAILY MAIL REPORTER

Heartbroken: Bam Margera returns to the spot where his best friend and Jackass co-star lost his life in a horrific car smash in the early hours of Monday morning in Philadelphia


Autopsy results reveal the crash was so violent it's impossible to determine if Dunn and passenger died from impact or from the fire that resulted

Photo emerges showing stuntman in high spirits whilst he partied at a bar shortly before crash

Co-star and best friend Bam Margera overcome with emotion as he visits crash scene

Ryan Dunn's Jackass co-star Bam Margera broke down into floods of tears as he visited the spot where his best friend lost his life in a horror 130mph car smash.

An inconsolable Bam spoke to a local news station and was so distraught he could barely put his loss into words.

'It was the worst phone call I ever got in my life waking up to that,' the 31-year-old wept.


Raw grief: Bam could barely hold it together as he gave an interview to a local news station


Margera, who was in Arizona at the time of the crash, visited the crash scene in Philadelphia on Tuesday evening.

He was visibly overcome with emotion, rocking back and forth in agony at the guardrail that the car crashed through.

'I've never lost anybody that I cared about. It's my best friend,' he told local TV station WPXI, weeping.


'Worst phone call of my life': He paid tribute to his childhood friend and asked how he would cope with the loss he wept: 'I can't, I can't'


'He was the happiest person ever, the smartest guy. He had so much talent, and he had so many things going for him. This is not right, not right.'

Margera stood at the guardrail that Dunn pierced with his Porsche Monday morning with such force that the car slammed through about 40 feet of trees before exploding into flames.

When asked how he'd get through this ordeal, Bam replied: 'I can't. I can't.'

Dunn's brother, Eric Dunn, said in an emailed statement to the AP that his family was 'devastated'.



Memories: The cast of Bam's show Viva La Bam, a spin-off from Jackass, featuring Bam, front centre, his father Phil, far left, mother April and Dunn, back centre which ran for five seasons between 2003 and 2005


Emotional: Close friends of Dunn visited the spot where his car smashed into a guardrail before careering off the road and into woodland and exploding into flames


In good spirits: A new picture shows Jackass star Ryan Dunn in high spirits as he parties at a bar with friends and fans shortly before he crashed his Porsche yesterday morning, killing himself and another passenger


Childhood friends: Ryan and Bam, pictured back in November 2003



Wreckage: The charred remains of the Porsche 911 GT3 is towed away as police survey the scene



Investigation: Dunn's Porsche was found engulfed in flames in woods beside the road


Margera, who appeared in her son's MTV show 'Viva La Bam' with Dunn, says he was not the type of person to get behind the wheel while drunk.

'He is going to be missed by everyone,' April tearfully told the NBC Today Show.

'I have yelled at him for lots of things but he was not a big drinker and he was always responsible as far as I know, so I cannot believe he would do that.

'I am sick because it is a waste, sick because I loved him, sick because he was talented and sick because he is gone.'

Meanwhile the passenger killed in Dunn's fatal car crash has been identified.

Police have confirmed Zachary Hartwell, 30, perished in a fireball car crash in the early hours of yesterday morning.

Hartwell, from West Chester, Philadelphia, had been with Dunn at Barnaby's and appeared in one of the last photographs to be taken of the daredevil before the accident.

The two were drinking with a third unidentified male in a Twitter picture, which was posted hours before the accident.


Speaking out: Bam Margera's mother April says she does not believe Dunn was driving drunk at the time of his death


While Hartwell was not a member of the Jackass crew, he is listed as a production assistant on the second Jackass movie.

He is also credited on IMDb as a 'car stunt driver' in Bam Margera's film Minghags.
He was reportedly a recently married Iraq war veteran

Dunn who was famous for his vulgar stunts in the multimillion-dollar TV and movie franchise Jackass, was driving his 2007 Porsche on a highway when it left the road, flipped over a guardrail and crashed into woods before bursting into flames.

Speed may have been a factor in the crash, West Goshen Township police said.

The force of impact shattered the vehicle into several twisted and blackened pieces, leaving the Porsche 911 GT3 unrecognisable except for a door that was thrown from the crash and not incinerated. A 100-foot-long tyre skid marked where the car left the road.

Police said they were able to identify Dunn through his tattoos and hair.

Dunn appeared on MTV shows Jackass and Viva La Bam and the three Jackass big-screen adaptations. He also was the star of his own MTV show, Homewrecker, and hosted Proving Ground on the G4 cable network.

G4 spokesman Dave Welch said Proving Ground, which premiered on June 11 with the second episode due to air today, was being shelved until the network could discuss its future.

Dunn's long-time friend and fellow Jackass daredevil Johnny Knoxville tweeted last night: 'Today I lost my brother Ryan Dunn. My heart goes out to his family and his beloved Angie. RIP Ryan, I love you buddy.'


Passenger: Zachery Hartwell (right) was killed in Dunn's fatal car crash yesterday. The pair were at a bar with an unidentified friend in Philadelphia before the accident


Dunn also starred in the yet-to-be-released film Living Will. The film's website describes Dunn's character as a 'party bum slacker (who) returns from the dead as a mischievous and perverted ghost'.

MTV praised Dunn's tireless humour and enthusiasm and said he would be missed.

'We are devastated by the tragic loss of Ryan Dunn - a beloved member of the MTV family for more than a decade,' said Van Toffler, president of MTV Networks Music/Films Group. 'The Jackass brotherhood will never be the same.'

Dunn was born in Ohio and moved at 15 to Pennsylvania, where he met Bam Margera on his first day of high school, according to a biography on his website.

Dunn, Margera, Christopher Raab (known as Raab Himself) and Brandon DiCamillo, under the moniker CKY for 'Camp Kill Yourself', started making videos that featured them skateboarding and performing stunts.


Where the night started: Dunn and Hartwell were both at Barnaby's in West Chester hours before the accident


Dunn was working as a welder and petrol station worker when Knoxville, a friend of Margera's through the skateboarding circuit, asked the crew to allow their videos to be part of the series Jackass, which became a hit on MTV and ran from 2000 to 2002.

Perhaps his most famous stunt, in 2002's Jackass: The Movie, involved inserting a toy car into his bottom and going to a hospital casualty unit, where he made up a story that he was in mysterious pain after passing out at a fraternity party. Dunn's X-ray from the hospital became a popular T-shirt for Jackass fans.

In a 2000 stunt, he dived into a tank at a raw sewage plant wearing flippers, a mask and a snorkel.


Crash scene: Black marks on the road show where Dunn's car skidded out of control


Devastation: Dunn's car span off the road, through a guardrail and into the woods


Bam Margera Breaks Down After Hearing About Ryan Dunns Death



source: dailymail

'Jackass star Ryan Dunn was buying drinks for the entire bar... I could barely walk when I left'

-One of the last people to see Jackass star alive says Dunn drank 'at least four shots of whiskey and several beers'
-Thaddeus Kalinoski says Dunn 'didn't appear drunk' when he left the bar around 2am
-Says Dunn was 'the life of the party' and was 'excited about the future'


By Andrea Magrath


'He was the life of the party': Thaddeus Kalinoski, left, partied with Ryan Dunn hours before his fatal car crash in West Chester, and has revealed new details of the night


One of the last people to see Jackass star Ryan Dunn and his friend Zachary Hartwell alive has revealed new details of their drinking session at a West Chester bar before the high-speed car crash that killed them both.

Thaddeus Kalinoski spent five hours drinking with Dunn at Barnaby's, downing shots of whiskey, but says that the MTV star 'didn't appear drunk' as he left the bar.

'He was drinking quick. He ordered for the entire bar,' Kalinoski told The Daily. 'The crowd was just pouring in. It was a massive party, with people everywhere, drinking.'


Kalinsoki, 34, was a friend of the Jackass star, also 34, but had not seen each other for several years before that night. He says that Dunn drank 'at least four shots of whiskey' and 'a number of beers' on Sunday night, and recalls that he became 'the life of the party.'

Pictures from that night show a flushed-faced Dunn in high spirits with fellow revellers, and Thaddeus has also released a picture of himself and his famous friend, who leans in to kiss his cheek for the camera.

While he insists Ryan 'didn't appear drunk,' Kalinoski admits he was 'severely intoxicated.'

'I could barely walk,' he told The Daily. 'I couldn’t drive home so I passed out in my car. That’s the type of environment it became.'

'He was drinking quick': His friend reveals that Dunn was buying shots of whiskey for the entire bar hours before his death


Kalinoski says his own friends and family were concerned when they learned of the fatal crash on Monday morning.

He said: 'My phone started ringing. People thought that I was in the accident. They said, "Are you OK? Are you OK?"'

Chester County Coroner's Office have confirmed from autopsy that the cause of death for Dunn and his passenger Zachary Hartwell, 31, was 'blunt and thermal trauma due to a motor vehicle accident and that the nature of the deaths was accidental.'

The report states that the accident in Dunn's Porsche 911 was so violent that it was impossible to determine whether they died from the initial impact of the crash or the fireball.

High spirits: The 34-year-old posted this picture of himself (left) and passenger Zachary Hartwell (right) drinking with another friend at Barnaby's


Their injuries were such that Dunn was identified by his tattoos and hair, while there was a considerable delay in confirming that the passenger was Hartwell, who was also drinking at the bar on Sunday night.

A toxicology report, which will reveal the role of alcohol in the crash, will take four to six weeks.

Kalinoski says that before leaving the bar around 2am, Dunn was encouraging his fellow revellers to tune into his new TV show Proving Ground, and spoke of how proud he was of best friend and co-star Bam Margera.

'He was just so excited for the future,' Kalinoski says. 'He was talking about all of these good things that were happening - and then it’s over.'

Overcome: Dunn's best friend and Jackass co-star Bam Margera visited the crash site yesterday and paid tribute to his friend, saying that his death is 'not right'


Dunn also discussed his former addiction to painkillers with Kalinoski, telling him he 'was in a bad way' the last time they saw each other in Baltimore in 2006.

'He said back then he was having some problems. He was addicted to Vicodin and Adderall,' Kalinoski says.

Dunn's best friend Margera visited the crash site today and gave an emotional interview to local news station WPXI.

A weeping, and clearly overcome Margera said: 'It was the worst phone call I ever got in my life waking up to that. I've never lost anybody that I cared about. It's my best friend.

Wreckage: The charred remains of the Porsche 911 GT3 is towed away - a police chief told reporters this 'unbelievable' crash was the worst he'd ever seen


'He (Dunn) was the happiest person ever, the smartest guy. He had so much talent, and he had so many things going for him. This is not right, not right.'

Police say Dunn was travelling at around 130mph in a 55mph zone when his Porsche 911 flew off the road at around 2.30am on Monday morning in Pennsylvania.

West Goshen Police Chief Michael Carroll, who was involved in the accident reconstruction, described it as the worst crash he had ever seen.


'He was buying for the whole bar': Kalinoski reveals Dunn was drinking 'picklebacks' - whiskey shots chased with pickle juice - at Barnaby's


Mr Carroll told RadarOnline that the Porsche - which can hit speeds of up to 190mph - was going at a very high speed when it collided with a guardrail, before landing in the woods and catching fire.

He told the website: 'I've never seen a car destroyed in an automobile accident the way this car was even before it caught on fire,' Carroll said.

'The automobile actually came apart. It was unbelievable and I've been on a lot of fatal accident scenes. This is by far the worse I've ever seen.'



source:dailymail

Chris Evans in race row after saying he could not see black scientist in darkened studio

By Paul Revoir


Claims: Chris Evans has been accused of making a racist comment to scientist Dr Maggie Aderin-Pocock during last Friday's edition of the One Show


Chris Evans has been accused of racism after telling a black scientist he could not see her in a dim BBC studio.

The presenter told Dr Maggie Aderin-Pocock, a highly respected space expert and government adviser: ‘I can barely see you, to be honest.’

The remark came after he mistakenly said she was Caribbean when she is of Nigerian descent.


The Corporation received 56 complaints from viewers who interpreted his comments as a racist joke. One angrily condemned the words as ‘proper foot-in-mouth’.

Evans’s comment was made early in The One Show last Friday during a discussion about a week of ‘space spectating’ which had included a lunar eclipse.

Dr Aderin-Pocock, sitting next to singer Tom Jones on the studio sofa, was asked if there were more to come.

She replied: ‘There’s plenty out there to see, unfortunately not tonight.’

Mr Evans then said: ‘It’s terrible tonight, I can barely see you, to be honest.’

Interview: Evans made the comment as he spoke with Dr Aderin-Pocock during a 'space spectating' section of the show

Brushed off: Dr Aderin-Pocock seemed to take no notice of the remark, which came after she had already corrected the presenter over her nationality


It was unclear if Dr Aderin-Pocock, born in London of Nigerian parents, was offended as she coolly brushed off the comment.

She had already corrected him over her nationality as they talked about her name.

Evans, who also presents the Radio 2 breakfast show, had said: ‘It’s Welsh, but you’re Caribbean’, before she said: ‘No, no, I’m Nigerian.’

The comment has similarities to remarks made by former Radio 2 presenter Sarah Kennedy in 2007.

Star guest: Tom Jones also appeared on the show, which attracted 56 complaints from viewers


She said she had nearly run over a black pedestrian in the dark and had only seen him when he ‘opened his mouth’.

Last night, the BBC said Evans’s comment had simply been a ‘quip’ referring to the studio lights being dimmed. They denied it was a ‘racist remark’ and said the guest had also drawn no such ‘inference’ from the remark.

But viewers clearly did and posted their reaction on Twitter.

‘One said: ‘Did Chris Evans just make a racist comment? I’m confused.’

Another added: ‘I swear Chris Evans was racist on The One Show.’

One said: ‘Chris Evans you racist, you called a Nigerian woman Caribbean, then said ‘we could hardly see you tonight’ – proper foot in mouth.’

A BBC spokesman said: ‘This was a quip in reference to the lights being specifically dimmed in the studio. It was absolutely not a racist remark and the guest did not draw any inference from the comment.’


source:dailymail