Mindset

For the majority of last year I was in a conflicted headspace:

• Happy to deepen friendships that I've made out here while disappointed with some of the friendships I had to let go. 
• Happy to live in LA rather than Long Beach while frustrated to not have a car. 
• Happy to have family support while saddened by Stephen's desire to leave LA. 
• Happy to get auditions for shorts and student films while anxious to get representation and better opportunities. 
• Happy to be self-producing while disheartened by the rising costs of it all. 
• Happy to have a night job while dissatisfied with the amount of family time it requires me to sacrifice. 

But that was all in 2011.

In 2012 I am...

• Thankful for the friendships I have and the lessons learned from those I've lost.
• Thankful for the car we share and the patience to wait until the right time to buy a new one.
• Thankful for my husband's flexibility and understanding especially since I know he misses his family.
• Thankful for the auditions I'm able to get and the industry relationships I'm able to develop on my own while I continue to seek the right people who will be excited to represent me. 
• Thankful for the knowledge gained and the connections made from the projects I've produced and excited for what is in store for those I'm producing.
• Thankful to be receiving unemployment until my job starts back up again so I can take a much needed break and spend more time with my family. 

Basically I have a different mindset. And though I didn't necessarily need to wait until the new year started to begin to think this way, I'm one of those people who loves the freshness that the new year brings. It feels like a clean slate where I can start anew or the first act of a whole new play. It invigorates me and gives me the impetus to make changes in every area of my life. And so, with the new year comes a new mindset where I'm much more focused on the blessings that I have instead of the things I lack. It's a much lighter state of being and one I hope to remain in for the rest of the year.